We've all encountered them. The person who informs you they've discovered theonlya marketing company worth engaging, created thegreatestNever made, or purchased the top (fill in the blank!) They use extreme language and exaggeration. They exude confidence. Yet, rather than persuading us, their statements sow uncertainty.
Why? Because when you use absolute statements, most people tend to lose trust in you. The more elevated and certain the assertion, the more it seems like an exaggeration. Making promises that are too high—even if meant sincerely—usually leads to negative consequences.
A more intelligent and subdued option is to sell less and exceed expectations. This approach is based on modesty, honest self-assessment, and a frequently neglected ability: being easy to talk to.
The ability to be approachable is what makes individuals feel at ease in expressing their thoughts, posing questions, and interacting with you—regardless of whether they are a possible client, a coworker, or a personal friend. When your language encourages rather than dictates, you create opportunities instead of creating barriers.
The Pitfall of Using Absolute Language
By labeling something "the best," you are creating an extremely high expectation in your audience's mind. Anything that doesn't meet this ideal seems like a disappointment, even if the actual outcome is truly outstanding.
This goes beyond marketing. It's related to human behavior. As your claims grow, so do expectations, and setting the bar too high can lead to an unavoidable disappointment. Additionally, using absolute terms often causes people to doubt everything you say:They constantly speak that way. I'll trust it once I witness it.
In personal relationships, absolutes can hinder connections. When you say, "I bought my husband the best car available," you're unknowingly suggesting to your friend that their perspective can only support yours, rather than contribute to a broader discussion. This comes across as self-centered.
Humility as a Competitive Edge
Humility doesn't mean acting as if you're less skilled than you actually are. It involves allowing your work and your interactions to convey your value. Leading with humility communicates, "I am self-assured enough to let outcomes and experiences speak for themselves."
Humility is closely linked with being approachable. By sharing your views as personal stories rather than absolute judgments, you encourage others to express their perspectives. This applies in a client meeting, where transparency fosters trust, and during a coffee chat with a friend, where openness and humility strengthen connections.
Overdelivering Starts with Underselling
If you claim "the best in the world," there is only one way to fulfill expectations: to truly be the top in the world. However, if you promise something reliable and then go beyond it, you generate a pleasant surprise.
That's the core of underpromising and overachieving:
- Set achievable, believable expectations.
- Use language that encourages participation, not just approval.
- Always exceed your commitments.
- Let others handle the promotion for you.
As time passes, the blend of trustworthiness and friendliness forms your unique identity. Others recognize that you don't make bold statements without substance—and they appreciate the experience of engaging with you.
The Gentle Harm of Exaggeration
Even if you don't intend to come across as self-assured, strong, definitive statements can lead to unexpected consequences. Terms such as "best," "perfect," and "unbeatable" do more than just characterize something; they imply, "I am the expert, I've done all the research, and nothing else is comparable."
This is the opposite of being approachable. It halts communication in professional environments by discouraging teamwork. In personal relationships, it leads others to feel that their preferences or experiences are only "secondary."
Establishing Confidence Without the Distraction
Not promoting yourself means not concealing your abilities or achievements—it involves grounding them in truth, and presenting them in a manner that encourages the other person to engage in the conversation.
Statements like:
- This is the most powerful choice we have discovered up to now.
- I thoroughly liked this—interested to know your opinion.
…go beyond simply avoiding exaggeration—they provide room for others to participate. In both professional and personal settings, this makes you someone that peoplewant to talk to.
Business Cases: From Excessive Selling to Establishing Trust
| Overstated Claim | Trust-Building Alternative | Why It Works |
| This is the top-performing product available. | This is the most effective solution we have discovered up to now for handling customer service calls. | Establishes a strong standard while allowing for growth, which makes you credible. |
| You won't come across a better offer than this. | We believe this provides significant value when compared to the leading three competitors in the market. | Presenting frames as opinions, rather than facts—prevents closing off dialogue. |
| It's flawless—perfect in every way. | We have put in significant effort to reduce problems, and we will continue to enhance things with our excellent team of engineers. | Displays self-assurance while recognizing the truth. |
| Nobody else can accomplish this in the way we can. | Here's our unique way of handling it compared to others. | Emphasizes distinct value without ignoring rivals. |
| This can transform your life. | Customers have informed us that it has been more beneficial than they anticipated. | Leverages testimonials and endorsements to generate curiosity. |
Daily Dialogues: From Certainties to Manageable
| Overstated Claim | Approachable Alternative | Why It Works |
| This is the top restaurant in the city, without a doubt. | I really enjoyed this spot — curious to hear your opinion. | Transforms a statement into an offer for collective participation. |
| That's the funniest film ever created. | I couldn't stop laughing at this one—I wonder if you'll find it just as amusing. | Express your response without creating unrealistic expectations. |
| This journey will be the most incredible experience you've ever had. | I enjoyed visiting that place—I believe you would observe things I overlooked. | Provides room for the other person's point of view. |
| You must read this—it's the best book ever written. | I really liked this one— I'd love to hear your perspective on it. | Moves the emphasis from evaluation to interest. |
| I've been into gardening for many years — I can inform you precisely what to grow. | You've been into gardening for years—what would you plant first? | Demonstrates appreciation for their knowledge and encourages their participation in the discussion. |
The Long Game
Consistency surpasses grandeur. A single outstanding performance following a major assertion may captivate briefly, but ongoing dependability builds trust.
Simple language helps make that consistency more noticeable—because peoplewantTo stay connected with you. They recall how you made them feel acknowledged and part of the conversation, not just how you presented your argument.
Avoid the spectacle of over-the-top words. Establish a reputation based on humble commitments, sincere interest, and unexpected reliability. Over time, people will recall not the volume of your speech, but the frequency of your actions.
Final Thought: Telling people “I have the best” or “I’m the best”can cause them to smile politely while secretly questioning you. SharingHere's what I have to provide— and expressing it in a manner that makes them feel involved in the discussion — increases their likelihood of trusting you and wanting to collaborate with you.
Related Articles:
- The Benefits of Appreciation and Modesty: Key Qualities for Achieving Success
- How to Manage Narcissism and Egos in the Office Environment
- What Makes Empathy Essential in Leadership? 7 Benefits of Cultivating This Quality
- 7 Essential Traits of an Effective Team Leader